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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28560201">You're the Closest to Heaven that I'll Ever Be</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purple_ducky00/pseuds/Purple_ducky00'>Purple_ducky00</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Developing Relationship, Insecure Bucky Barnes, M/M, Nerd Sam Wilson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 01:08:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,366</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28560201</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purple_ducky00/pseuds/Purple_ducky00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bucky asks Sam out, he never thought Sam would agree. Now he can't believe they're in a relationship. Sam could do much better than him! </p>
<p>Can Bucky overcome his insecurities to keep his relationship?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Erik Killmonger/M'Baku, Heimdall/Thor (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Nakia (Black Panther)/T'Challa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Marvel Fans 4 BLM 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/betheflame/gifts">betheflame</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic is written for Marvel Fans 4 BLM for <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/betheflame"> Betheflame</a>. Thank you for the opportunity to write this!</p>
<p>A special thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/weethreequarter"> Ree </a> for the beta work!</p>
<p>Work to be updated twice a week.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yay!!! Today is my birthday! And the first chapter of the fic is up!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Would you, like, wanna</span>
  <em>
    <span>gooutsometime</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Bucky asks. Sam agrees! He can’t believe it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He spends way too much time trying to pick out an outfit. Finally settling on his black skinny jeans, a maroon tshirt, and his black leather jacket, Bucky quickly gets ready to pick Sam up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The campus theater is only a few blocks away from their dorms. Bucky walks over to Sam’s room so that they can walk to the theater together. It’s such a nice night anyways. Sam is ready when Bucky knocks on the door. He gives Bucky a smile and falls in line with him as they walk to the movies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wracking his brain for a suitable conversation, Bucky stammers out a comment about the weather. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why is it so hard for me to talk to Sam right now? I’ve never had this problem before.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sam must realize his awkwardness because he takes control of the conversation, telling Bucky about his psychology class.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The theater is having a throwback week. The movies scheduled for tonight are </span>
  <em>
    <span>Back to the Future</span>
  </em>
  <span>, </span>
  <em>
    <span>The Breakfast Club</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sixteen Candles</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Sam is a huge </span>
  <em>
    <span>Back to the Future</span>
  </em>
  <span> nerd. Bucky enjoys watching him get excited over the minutest details. He barely watches the movie, as his focus swings back and forth between </span>
  <em>
    <span>I love how happy Sam is about this</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t believe Sam would date me!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once the movie is over, they head over to a little café where Bucky buys them both shakes and fries. He can’t help but melt when Sam beams at him. “You know me so well, Bucky!” The other man gushes. “It’s like we’re dating in an Archie comic!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Conversation flows quickly after that. Bucky and Sam sit in their booth long after the waiter gives them their check. All too soon, they are shooed out of the café because it is closing. They walk slowly home, talking about the NFL trade deadline. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Bucky walks Sam up to his door, awkwardness ensues. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Am I supposed to kiss him? Was this like a date-date, or like…?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Bucky thinks, panicking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for tonight.” Sam turns to him, hand in his sweatshirt pockets. “I had a lot of fun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky smiles. “Your welcome. I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh! It’s the doorstep scene. Are you gonna kiiiiiiiss?” Sam’s roommate, Clint, walks up behind them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up, Clint,” Sam says good-naturedly. He gives Bucky a quick hug, thanks him again, and disappears inside his dorm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clint’s eyes go wide. “Were you – oh my bad – sorry man.” He gestures wildly. “Sorry Bucky.” Bucky just shakes his head wordlessly and walks back to his dorm. His roommate, Steve, is still up, watching </span>
  <em>
    <span>Criminal Minds</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, how was your date?” Steve asks between mouthfuls of popcorn. Bucky grunts and walks to his room. He doesn’t want to talk about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever wondered why someone would date you when they could do so much better than you?” Bucky asks during the Mechanical Engineering workshop the next day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony Stark sets down his tools and lifts his goggles. “Yes, every day. Rhodey is way better than me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you do? Like how do you make sure he stays?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I like to think that it’s my charm.” Tony grins widely. “But I try to do something super nice for him as much as I can. Like last week, we went skydiving then ate dinner in the private room of the Four Seasons. The steak was…” and he kisses his fingertips. “delicio. And then last month, I took him on a vacation in Tahiti…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky listens to Tony’s rant, but he soon realizes that Tony forgets that not everyone is a trust-fund son of a billionaire. The one thing that does stick, however, is that he will have to make some grand gestures to make sure Sam doesn’t realize how much better he could do than Bucky. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve asks Bucky again how the date went when they go out for lunch. Bucky reveals his fears to Steve, who, ever the loyal best friend, vehemently states that Bucky is just fine the way he is, and if Sam doesn’t like it, he can walk. Bucky wants to mention that he doesn’t want Sam to walk away but he can’t really get a word in as Steve lists all of Bucky’s attributes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what to do.” Bucky mumbles to himself. Should he call Sam? Or is that seen as too clingy? Unsure of what to do, he hangs around Thor and Heimdall’s dorm all afternoon. </span>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My friend,” Heimdall finally takes a seat on the couch next to him. “Not that we don’t mind you hanging around, but why are you? Didn’t you go on a date with Sam last night?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky groans. “Yeah, but I think I screwed it up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why is that?” Bucky hates the way Heimdall seems to see right through him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I took him to a movie and then to the Shake Shoppe. They were having a throwback night. I don’t know, I feel like I should have gone more all out. Like he’s so much better than me. Then, you know, I walk him to his door. I’m not sure if we’re going to hug, kiss, or just fist bump, you know?” Heimdall closes his eyes slowly with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>give me strength</span>
  </em>
  <span> look. “So then, his roommate, Clint walks up and asks us if we’re going to kiss. I panic, and Sam just walks inside. Just walking inside is never good, right? And I don’t want to call him or find him because I don’t want to look clingy. We’ve only gone on one date!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did Sam seem like he didn’t enjoy the date?” Thor questions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky thinks back. “He never said that. In fact, he told me that it was like a page out of an Archie comic. But why would he just shut the door in my face?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you should give him a call or find him.” Heimdall gestures to the door. “Then you’ll know. If he thought the date was pure shit, well, then you never have to go out with him again. But if he enjoyed the date, which is the more likely case, you can go out again. Nothing good ever comes from miscommunication.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, ok. I’ll take the hint.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky leaves. He does not, however, call Sam. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The boys talk and go out on a second date. The gang goes bowling</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Hey listen, man. I’m sorry about last night.” Sam’s morning begins with Clint apologizing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam waves him off. “It’s not like I shouldn’t have expected it; you’re an asshole like that. But not even you could have ruined that date. I had so much fun!” He can’t wait until Bucky will call or text him. He has an awesome idea for the next date. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam goes through his classes for the day. He doesn’t see Bucky nor does he hear from him. Spirits sinking, he wonders if Bucky had fun last night.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Was I too much of a nerd?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sam wonders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walks in his dorm to find Clint and Natasha making out on the couch.  To get his revenge on Clint, Sam sits on the chair in the living room. “So, Nat, you’re good friends with Bucky, right?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Natasha stops kissing Clint and sits up. Sam grins wickedly at Clint’s “Aw, Sam, no.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I am friends with Bucky. What did that idiot do now?” Natasha straightens out her shirt carefully. She is the one who was trying to get Sam and Bucky together in the first place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam knows that Natasha’s calm, calculated movements means that she’s planning a murder. “It’s probably not his fault!” He is quick to defend Bucky as he recalls all the moments of the night before. Natasha takes a swipe at Clint when she hears what he did. Sam finishes his flashback with a “So, I could just not be his type.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Believe me when I tell you that Bucky likes you.” Natasha says. “Have you considered that maybe he is waiting for you to reach out? After all, you were the one who walked in the door without even a proper hug or kiss goodbye.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tilting his head, Sam contemplates Natasha’s words of wisdom. “You’re probably right. I’ll reach out to him. Thanks Nat. Clint, keep the hanky-panky in your room, or you’ll regret it.” He pulls out his phone and heads to his bedroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To Bucky: </span>
  <b>Hey</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From Bucky: </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>What are you doing tonight?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Studying. You?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Not much. Want to go out on Friday? I found this restaurant that I really like a few miles off campus. We could meet up with the others for bowling.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam watches the reply dots rise and fall several times. His heart is stuck in his throat. Then Bucky’s message comes through, and he heaves a sigh of relief.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ok. Is it like a fancy restaurant or…?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>It’s a casual Italian family diner. The food is delicious.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Italian sounds good to me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>It’s a date then. </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yup </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>😊</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, Bucky seems happy, then. At least he’s not trying to ghost Sam. That’s a step up from Sam’s last boyfriend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>++++++</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Friday night, Sam waits nervously outside of Bucky’s dorm. Wearing a nice pair of jeans, a dark green cotton tee, and a gray sports jacket. Bucky walks out of his room looking like sex on legs in his ripped black skinny jeans, black leather jacket, and biker boots. Sam is sure he is drooling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey hottie.” Bucky smirks at him. “You ready to blow this joint?” The only thing Sam can do is nod enthusiastically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dinner is good and mostly uneventful. Sam learns that Bucky likes some pasta to go with his parmesan cheese. Bucky wrinkles his nose when Sam orders extra sauce.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they are done eating, the waitress comes by with the check. She looks at them both nervously, then sets the receipt directly in the center of the table. Both men reach for it, but Sam is quicker. “I asked you out this time.” He tells Bucky. “You can pay when you do the asking.” Bucky concedes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to grab an Uber, or would you rather just walk to the bowling alley?” Bucky asks once they leave the restaurant. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam rubs his still flat stomach. “Up to you. I myself would like to walk off these calories, but if you’d rather ride, I wouldn’t care.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Walk it is then. Besides, we still have a half-hour to get there before Rhodey drags Tony in.” Bucky grins. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know that’s right.” Sam blushes when Bucky takes his hand. They walk hand-in-hand to the bowling alley, which is only a few blocks away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone is there - Thor and Heimdall, Natasha and Clint, T’Challa and Nakia, M’Baku, Erik, Steve, and Sharon - except Rhodey and Tony. Bucky nudges Sam and whispers, “Called it.” A few minutes later, Rhodey walks in with a messy-haired Tony. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. I literally just pulled his welder’s mask off of him. He was showered and ready, then he decided to fix the toaster.” Rhodey declares.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony gives him a look. “You told me that it was broken!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said, in passing, ‘Babe, we need to get a new toaster. Ours is broken.’ I did not say ‘Tones, the toaster is broken and needs fixed ASAP’!” Rhodey shakes his head and turns to everyone else. “Ok, how many lanes do we need?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Three lanes with four people each.” T’Challa speaks up. “We’ll pair off and have a tournament.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam and Bucky end up on a lane with Erik and M’Baku. “You better not mess this up.” Erik grins. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“”I can’t bowl.” Bucky raises his hand. “Fair warning. This is like the second time I have ever bowled.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, Barnes. I’ll make sure we win for the both of us.” M’Baku pats him on the shoulder. M’Baku is a Nigerian student, much like T’Challa and Nakia who came to America for a college degree. He and Erik have been dancing around each other for a while now. They are both highly competitive men who like to pit themselves against the other. Sam can’t imagine what would happen if they actually teamed up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nakia catches Sam’s eye. When he turns to look at her, she motions to the two men and taps her forefingers together. He gets her message and nods. Clapping his hands to his teammates, he says, “Let’s go kick some ass.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>True to his word, Bucky is terrible. He doesn’t know how to take the steps, he’s using a ball far too light, and his wrist always bends when he throws. Once Sam walks him through it, he does get better. The three other men try their best, but they wind up in second place. It is truly unfair when Rhodey, Tony, and Thor end up on the same team.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thor and Heimdall pick up some pizza and wings, inviting everyone back to their dorm. They watch a </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mission Impossible</span>
  </em>
  <span> movie. Bucky hates Tom Cruise and makes sure the others know that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But, Henry Cavill…” Clint whines. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky is able to kiss Sam when they walk home that night. Tonight was a good one.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The boys' first vacation</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sam and Bucky are moving along in their relationship. They spend most of their time together, getting sappier by each date. They haven’t had sex yet because neither of them were quick to hop into bed. Clint is annoyed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why can’t you just fuck?” He complains. “If you guys would just fuck, you’d be in Sam’s room, and I wouldn’t have to walk in on you guys being all mushy on the couch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I had a nickel every time I caught you and Nat on the couch here, I’d be as rich as Tony right now.”  Sam shoots back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clint flips him the finger and backs out of the dorm room. When the door shuts after him, the couple resumes their makeout session.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam isn’t a huge outdoorsman, but Bucky loves to hike. They go hiking many weekends. It’s easy to get excited when he sees Bucky’s enthusiasm. On a brighter note, Sam’s phone camera is exceptional, and he gets to lord his beautiful nature photos over all the others. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They take a weekend trip to Maine because Bucky wants to do the famous Beehive trail. Sam wants to see some moose. They rent a little cabin in Bar Harbor on the water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You cannot leave here without trying our famous blueberry pie!” The woman from whom they rented the AirBnB gushes. “Also Maine lobster is the best in the country!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess we’ll have to try them out then.” Sam smiles at her. “I love blueberry pie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first day, they hike the Beehive Trail in Acadia. When done, they walk around the smaller trails and visit the Thunder Hole. After a long but good day, they eat dinner at one of the smaller diners in the town. Their hostess was right - the lobster is delicious! And don’t get Sam started on the blueberry pie! His mouth is watering, just thinking about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have to drive out to Baxter tomorrow, so we’ll probably want to get to bed early.” Bucky nudges Sam as they browse the stores, holding hands. “We need to see your moose.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Russell Pond Trail is one of the better trails to see moose, says TripAdvisor. As they drive through Baxter, Bucky sees signs for the hike up Mount Katahdin. “Now, that is a hike I’d like to hike.” Bucky’s eyes get all wide and excited. He’s adorable. “But it’s super long, and we might have to camp overnight if we don’t get an early enough start.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they walk along their hike, a bull moose walks up to them. He looks at the two men curiously. Sam snaps a few pictures of him. The moose pulls some moss off of the tree next to them, then turns and lumbers slowly into the woods. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my gosh! He was so close!” Sam whispers. “I was not even five feet away from a moose!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky grins in delight at Sam’s elation. “Want to find more?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It is a good day for moose watching. They see seven moose in total, four bulls, two cows, and one calf. Sam has pictures of all of them. When they return to their cabin, they grab a quick dinner and go to bed early. They have a long drive home in the morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lying beside his boyfriend in bed, Sam surmises that it was a good vacation. He’s happy that they were friends before they started dating. There’s no awkwardness to a weekend trip only a month into their relationship.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sam gets drunk at a party</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Yo, peeps, Johnny Storm is throwing a party at his frat house. Who’s in?” Tony comes in and flops on the couch, his head landing in Rhodey’s lap. Rhodey hisses in the discomfort of Tony’s head hitting his privates.  “Sorry, Honeybear.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it a weeknight?” Bucky questions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony gives him a Look™. “Who are you, my grandpa? No, the party is not a weeknight. It’s this Friday, and I think we should go and prank Johnny somehow. He’s a dick, but he thinks we’re friends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The others slowly agree to go to the party as well. What’s the harm? Bucky wonders.  Tony begins to describe how they will altogether play a prank on Storm. Bucky half-listens; he’s wondering how the party will go. Does Sam drink a lot? What is drunk Sam like?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s the night of the party, and Tony makes sure everyone knows their role in the elaborate prank, which is to get Johnny to somehow believe he switched bodies with Steve. Their resemblance is uncanny.  It doesn’t take long for the poor host to have an existential crisis. Sue Storm, his sister, gives Tony a friendly whack. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You know how he gets when he’s drunk! Guess who’s going to have to snap him out of it later.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony winks. “Well it’s not me. You should get Reed to do it. They’ll have some boyfriend/brother bonding time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s being mean to Reed.” Sue snarks back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which was the whole basis of this plan!” Tony and Reed have a “friendly” rivalry going on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The party is bumping, and the alcohol is diminishing. Bucky and Sam dance most of the night, then Bucky has to run to the restroom. When he gets back, he can’t find Sam anywhere! Seemingly the only clear head in the place, he searches every nook and cranny until he finds his boyfriend sitting in the corner with Tony, Rhodey, and Clint. They’re giggling about something or another. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you ready?” Bucky gets Sam's attention. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam stands quickly and wavers with the adrenaline rush to the head. “Sooooo, boys, this is my ride. Catch you on the flip-flops, men.” And promptly falls into Bucky’s arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow, you’re drunk.” Bucky laughs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Only jussss a little,” Sam puts a little bit of space between his thumb and forefinger. He takes a step and stumbles. “Okay, maybe a lotttt.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky lifts Sam up and carries him out of the party, bridal style. He calls an Uber and takes Sam home. He takes the other man’s shoes and jeans off and tucks him in bed. Bucky is sure to lock the door on his way out. Parties aren’t really for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam wakes up the next morning with a splitting headache. He pulls the cover up over his head and burrows under his pillows. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How did I get home last night?</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Sam vaguely remembers Bucky carrying him to bed.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh shit. He probably thinks I’m a messy person, too drunk to take care of myself. This is why I don’t do parties.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clint knocks on his door softly then shuffles in. “Hangover cure.” He mumbles and sets a glass on Sam’s nightstand. “Drink up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly sitting up and opening his eyes, Sam sees the ugly green liquid in the glass. He sniffs it. It does not smell good.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Well if I die, I won’t feel this pain and shame anymore.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He figures and drinks. Almost immediately, his head clears. “Clint, is this voodoo or something? There’s no way something should work so quickly.” Clint only smirks and walks out of the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam goes over to Bucky’s for lunch. “Hey, thank you for bringing me home last night. Sorry if I was too wasted. I don’t normally go to parties because I tend to drink too much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s ok. I don’t drink much, but I don’t mind if you do. I like taking care of you.” Bucky smiles softly at him, and Sam’s heart melts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know I’ll probably sound like those people, but why don’t you drink? Do you like, not like the taste or something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky sits back in his chair. “No, I like it just fine. Just, my dad drank a lot, and he got pretty mean when he was drunk. Given that I’ve gotten a lot of his genetics, I’d just prefer not to find out if that was something I’ve inherited from him. I like to be in full control of myself anyways. It’s not a big loss for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I respect that, even if I don’t think you would ever hurt a fly, even when drunk.” Sam takes his hand. “Thank you for bearing with me last night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like I said, I really like taking care of you.” Bucky cups Sam’s face gently. Sam leans in for a kiss. The kiss gets heavier until Bucky pulls back and quietly asks. “Want to take this to my room?” Sam nods. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clothes are strewn down the hallway, and Bucky hangs a sock on his door.  Steve walks in about a half-hour later, sees the hallway and just runs back out of the dorm.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The first big fight</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Bucky and Sam have been dating for a month or so now. Sometimes Bucky looks at Sam and can’t believe how lucky he is. Sam is the absolute best - he’s funny, dorky, helpful, and kind. Everything Bucky could ever want, wrapped up in one person. They can talk for hours about the minutest topics, or they could sit together in a companionable silence. Sam is also a fabulous kisser, among other things. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Bucky is feeling down or detached, Sam seems to know what to do to help Bucky feel better. Bucky hopes he can do the same for Sam. They talk in memes half the time, and it annoys Steve to no end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam is a massive nerd. His walks are lined with comic books, always pre-ordering new issues. He could go on for hours about </span>
  <em>
    <span>Star Trek</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>Star Wars</span>
  </em>
  <span> and why he doesn't think people should pit them against each other. Bucky doesn't always understand what he's saying,  but Sam's enthusiasm makes him want to know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There is so much to him that Bucky would not have known if they didn't start dating. Sam is close to his mother, but not his father. They divorced when he was young, and it's only now that his father wants to get in contact with him. Sam also has some flaws. He cracks his knuckles. That gets on Bucky's nerves. He also </span>
  <em>
    <span>loves</span>
  </em>
  <span> to gossip with the lunch ladies. Not that it's a big flaw, but it has made them late on several occasions. Sam tells Bucky it feels like talking with his aunties at home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam is getting a degree in psychology because he wants to help people. Bucky is so proud of him. He can’t imagine doing that kind of job; it would hurt him more than it would help others. He’s so lucky to have Sam in his life. He might even love him at this point. Screw it, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> love Sam. Now to just find a way to tell him so it’s not awkward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Much like Tony with Rhodey, he feels like he doesn’t deserve Sam. So, he does all he can to make sure Sam stays with him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s midterms week, and Bucky is running himself ragged. He’s losing sleep, studying, helping Sam with whatever he needs, and his mental health isn’t doing too well. Sam confronts him about it at the wrong time, and Bucky explodes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bucky, just get some sleep! I don’t need you to cook me dinner every night!’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But babe, I like making you dinner.” Bucky responds with a smile at first. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam reciprocates. “And as much as I like you making me dinner, I would prefer you to take care of yourself before you take care of me. I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What, so you don’t want my help? Fine! I won’t help you!” Bucky knows he’s being irrational, but right now, everything’s coming out like vomit. “I just want you to feel appreciated, and you tell me you don’t want it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bucky, you’re dead on your feet. Just get some sleep; we can talk about this when you’re better rested.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or we can have this conversation now.” Bucky crosses his arms. “I’m not tired, and you seem to want to talk about this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bucky, I just want you to take care of yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I am! I take care of myself by taking care of you!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you’re not! You’re losing weight, you’re stressed, and you’re barely eating or sleeping! How is that taking care of yourself?” Sam shouts. “Damn it, Bucky! I thought you…” He trails off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky’s heart sinks. Sam doesn’t want him anymore. “You thought I was what? Actually, you know what? I don’t care. Just go if you don’t want dinner.” He turns his back and doesn’t respond until Sam gives up and walks out. Bucky shudders out a sob and sinks to the floor. They’re done, all because he can’t keep his fat mouth shut and listen to Sam.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which the boys communicate</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sam leaves Bucky’s dorm, feeling angry. Why can’t Bucky see that he’s hurting himself? He likes that Bucky will do nice things for him, but he shouldn’t be doing them at the cost of himself. Bucky has been up all night studying for the past few weeks, but he won’t change his daily schedule to help catch up on sleep. Steve says he does this every year, but he seems more focused on every single detail this year. He said he thinks it has to do with Sam, but he’s not sure. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cooking up a packet of Ramen, Sam eats alone in his room. Clint lets himself in during the early evening. “Bad fight, huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s not taking care of himself, but he’s taking care of me. Why can’t I convince him to sleep?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dunno. Want me to sic Nat on him?” Clint sits beside him on the bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam shakes his head. “Nah. It will probably only make matters worse. I just wish he could see my side of this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Give him a day or so to cool down, then ask him if he’s willing to talk it over.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam does exactly that, or he plans to. Steve calls him the next day, asking him if he’s ready to talk to Bucky. Apparently, Bucky hasn’t slept since their fight, and he’s not doing too well. “He keeps asking for you, but I don’t know if he even knows what he’s saying. Bucky’s suffering from severe sleep deprivation, but he won’t try to sleep. He just keeps saying your name over and over again. I thought, maybe if you’re not too upset, you could help him?” Steve asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure. I’ll be over as soon as I can.” Not ten minutes later, Sam is knocking on Bucky’s dorm room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve answers. “He’s right over here. Bucky, Sam’s here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky looks up with slightly unfocused, teary eyes. “Sam? You-you came?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I did, honey. What’s wrong?” Sam’s heart breaks at the surprise in Bucky’s voice. He should have been here the whole time. How is he going to be a good therapist if he can’t see just how much his own boyfriend is suffering? He sits on the bed beside the man he loves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky wraps himself around Sam immediately. “I thought you were done with me.” He blathers. “You deserve so much more than me, and I didn’t want you to realize. And Tony says he does stuff for Rhodey because he feels like he doesn’t deserve him and that’s how I feel. I love you and I don’t know what I’d do without you. Please don’t leave.” He hugs Sam tighter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam brushes Bucky’s hair out of his face. “Bucky, I love you, too. Listen, I don’t deserve better than you. You and I, we’re perfect. I would never leave you because I thought I deserved better. And Rhodey sure as hell doesn’t think Tony’s less than him. I love you so much, Bucky. I just want you to take care of yourself. You don’t need to wear yourself ragged to make sure I stay. I’m staying, whether you like it or not. Ok, sweetheart?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok.” Bucky pulls Sam down to lie beside him. Cuddling into him, Bucky says, “Goodnight.” He’s sound asleep in five minutes. It’s a good thing that Sam doesn’t have any early classes the next morning because he isn’t moving until Bucky gets the sleep he needs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky wakes up with a start. He vaguely remembers last night, but something good must have happened because Sam is sleeping. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wait.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He thinks, going completely still. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Did I tell Sam I loved him last night? I must have looked so pathetic last night. Ugh, I wish I waited for a better time.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop thinking so hard.” Sam pats his face. “It’s ok. I love you, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you know…” When Sam gives him a look, Bucky trails off. “Oh, yeah, that’s right. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> me.” He lightly shoves his boyfriend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sitting up, Sam asks. “How was your sleep? Are you better rested?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes. I’m thinking a lot more clearly now.” Bucky feels his face heat. “I’m guessing we should have a conversation?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Bucky. You told me that you don’t think you deserve me? And that’s why you’ve been trying to take care of my every need?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky blushes again. “Yeah, I was talking with Tony and…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you said that too. I might have to mention something to Rhodey about that. Rhodey and Tony are evenly matched, as are you and I. We all deserve each other, ok? Neither of us is above the other; it’s an equal playing field. While I agree it’s nice to do things for those you love, it’s not worth running yourself ragged and damaging your mental health. If they love you back, they would definitely tell you that. Taking care of yourself is the best way you can love me.” Sam runs his hand over Bucky’s impressive jaw. “I love you, and I want to grow old with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to grow old with you, too.” Bucky pecks Sam on the lips. “Can I make you breakfast?””</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sam rolls his eyes. “Ok, but only because you slept over eight hours last night.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A few years in the future</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>~~<em>A few years in the future~~</em></p><p>
  <span>Rhodey and Tony are engaged. Everyone gathers together for an engagement party. Sam is surprised to see a few unexpected changes. Erik and M’Baku walk in holding hands! He hadn’t even known they had started dating, and apparently, neither did the others. Sharon and Maria walk in, with Steve in tow. Sharon tells them that they’re in a poly relationship, and everything is going good. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As everyone catches up, Nakia jokes about a bad date she and T’Challa went on recently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony leans back. "You think </span>
  <em>
    <span>that's</span>
  </em>
  <span> a bad date? Let me tell you about a bad date..." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No Tony. You can't just bring up the Flyers game every damn time..." Rhodey interrupts but Tony talks overtop him as if Rhodey hadn't spoken. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He takes me to a fucking Flyers game over Christmas break. And makes me wear an </span>
  <em>
    <span>orange jersey</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Yeah, you heard me! Orange!" Tony screeches. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rhodey facepalms. "Oh for fuck's sake" He groans. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"The paparazzi had a fucking field day with that!" Tony glares at Rhodey. "I fell twenty people on the fashion sense chart. I think I broke a world record for fastest fall from glory."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky and Sam grin at each other. Nope, not much has changed.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! Positive comments bring me serotonin!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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